Let's start with a bit of an English lesson :P

Victim - a person or thing harmed, lost, or destroyed

Victor - one that defeats an enemy or opponent

You will face many difficult events in your life. Every single one of them an opportunity.

An opportunity for you to be a victim, or a victor.

When you are in the thick of a horrible time, it is easiest to blame others for what is happening to you. You want everything to be someone else's fault, which means the bad things are out of your control and you can’t do anything.

Why?

It is hard to do things. It is hard to do the research, to figure out what you need to do, to make changes, to be different to those around you. All of it is hard.

Much easier to just blame your genetics, to blame the weather, to blame that person who came to work sick and made everyone else sick (that’s not how it works btw).

When you take responsibility of everything that happens in your life (in some way shape or form you can take responsibility for everything), it can seem overwhelming. However, it is also radically freeing as it means you have a choice.

I do not mean take responsibility to wallow in pity and feel horrible that everything is always your fault and why can’t you be better or do better or be enough. That is not what I mean by taking responsibility. (If you are having those sorts of thoughts then book in an ERT session with me to clear that!).

I mean:

• take responsibility for your outlook on what has happened.
• take responsibility for how you respond or react to what has happened

Taking responsibility in this way happens by staying curious. Instead of blaming, stay open and ask questions. Try these journalling prompts that I teach in Nourishment Gateway to give perspective to a negative event in your life:

• What happened objectively?
• What did I make it mean?
• How would I comfort a friend I loved if this happened to them?
• How is this the best thing that has ever happened to me? (Hard to answer in the moment but can often come with time and hindsight

When you take responsibility in this way a whole new world opens up to you. One where you have choices and the ability to change how your life looks. You are in charge and have the power; you become the victor.