Burn out. 

Adrenal fatigue. 

Run down. 

Over worked. 

Stressed. 

These are all things you may have felt or experienced in your life and it often comes from wearing too many hats and trying to do all the things at the same time. When you 'burn the candle at both ends', you burn through that wick fast and there is nothing left very quickly.  

I am lucky that I had a great mentor who told me, 'Zoe, you can have it all, just not all at the same time'. I took that message on board and it really allowed me to let go of perfectionism and my need to have everything done 'just so' and at the same time. I never burnt out or had adrenal fatigue because of this advice and my ability to let go of what doesn't serve me. 

I was trying to be the perfect mum, the perfect farmer, the perfect wife, the perfect business owner, the perfect naturopath, the perfect friend/sister/daughter, the perfect and the list goes on (not even mentioning trying to have the perfect self care routine!:P). 

By letting go of the need to have it all perfect at the same time, I gave myself space to really focus on what was truly important to me in that moment. For me at that time (being pregnant and about to give birth), it was being the 'perfect' mum. Ok, ok, I know there is no such thing as perfect, but I was still willing to give it a shot! haha 

Whilst the advice was actually really fantastic to me and I have told it to many people since, it was also detrimental because of the way I understood it and implemented it in my life. I thought the 'I could have it all but not at the same time' meant that I could absolutely reach each of my goals and excel in each area of my life that I wanted to (namely mother/wife, farmer and naturopath/business owner), just at different times of life. Meaning that whilst I was in the mother stage of life I needed to let go of all of my expectations around being a farmer and naturopath. (Have I told you that I can be an all or nothing type person :P haha!).  

I loved stepping back from my own expectations around farming and business while I was mothering, but lately I have gone through my next evolution and realised that that advice can have a totally different meaning. 

I can have it all, AND I can have it all at the same time. I just can't have it ALL at the same time. As in I can't have every part of  all that I want at the same time. 

I didn't need to have all of the best mothering activities and experiences, whilst being the best farmer with all of the animals and gardens, whilst being the most successful business owner, running a multi-million dollar business. I can be an awesome mother (that isn't ticking all the boxes), whilst running a farm (with only one or two animals), whilst running a successful business (that is a bit smaller but still making the impact I want it to). 

Honestly, writing it down here, it is totally obvious. Like duh Zoe! But sometimes you just can't see the forest for the trees; and when you want to serve those around you AND take care of yourself, it just feels like you need to do it all perfectly, otherwise you are letting the people you love (inc yourself) down!  

It isn't true though. You can do all the things, AND you can do them in a way that allows everyone to thrive.